As you (probably) like me start getting emails or see other advertising from companies trying to sell you items or experiences related to Father’s Day, (the first Sunday in September,) I thought it might be appropriate to again reflect on the roles and influences of Fathersand Father Figures.
For some of us, our fathers are no longer with us, in person, but only in our memories, photos and via the direct and indirect influences (both positive and negative) they have had on our lives.
Some of the books I’ve recently added to the Huntingdale Little Free Library are related toFathers and Fatherhood. Some of them include Steve Biddulph’sRaising Boys and The New Manhood. Also in the library are He’ll be OK by Celia Lashlie and The DADs’ book : For the Dad who’s best at everything by Michael Heatley. (How long they stay in the Library before being borrowed, remains to be seen.)
A related DVD I recall watching via SBS some years ago was About Men; About Women.
In the description of the About Menprograms it is noted how it “…is a documentary series that explores the major life stages, transitions and experiences of boys and men living in Australia”. I certainly found it interesting. It had some examples of how their children react and respond (positively) to their father’s giving up the drink and or drugs, as well as separate examples of being a post-divorce or separation, shared care, or “Part-time” Dad.
Other books I will recommend to father’s include “Fathering in the Fast Lane” by Bruce Robinson and “Be a parent not a pal”, by Jeff Kemp, as well as “Have a new kid by Friday: how to change your child’s attitude, behavior & character in 5 days” by Kevin Leman, which was initially recommended by one of the participants in a Domestic Violencegroup I was co-facilitating some years ago. Also worthy of looking at is the idea behind the Refrigerator Quote number 6, about The Trouble Tree and not taking your “work troubles” home.
For those wanting a light-hearted look at modern Masculinity, (with references to being a father and fatherhood) I’d recommend “Manning Up in the Modern World” by Richard Clune. I reviewed it on the Life Resolutions Huntingdale Blog. It includes one chapter called “How to be a New Dad (And a f***ing good one).”
In Steve Biddulph’s book, The New Manhood ( a book I often recommend to clients and as noted above, recently added to the collection in the Huntingdale Little Free Library) includes chapters on “You and your father” as well as “Being a real father”. The following quote from the beginning of this book is probably a good way to finish this blog:
There are men who wake up in the morning energized and happy.
Whose partners and children love and trust them.
Who do work they believe in and enjoy.
Have loyal and interesting friends.
And are deeply involved in the wider world.
They may not be famous or wealthy.
They value something quite different.
They are learning to be real.